1. THE PERSONAL TRAINER.
This guy treats body language the same way he treats leg day: he ignores it completely. It doesn’t matter if a girl has her headphones crammed in her ear while her boyfriend spots her on bench, this determined creep is going to dole out unsolicited, fundamentally incorrect workout advice one way or another in the hopes of hooking up with a fellow gym-goer. C’mon man. Your desperation smells worse than the can of Axe body spray you bathed in before entering the iron dome.
2. THE ACTUAL PERSONAL TRAINER.
Same as above, except he spent 7 hours and $30 to get his online personal training certification, and is wearing an LA Fitness t-shirt with his nametag on it. It is possible to help a woman get in shape without simultaneously trying to get in her pants, but don’t tell this guy that.
3. THE MAGNET.
Subtlety is not this guy’s forte. He latches onto a hot chick like a heat-seeking missile and is willing to compromise any chance of having a productive workout himself in order to occupy the machine/bench/free space next to her for the entirety of her routine.
4. THE SPECTACLE.
Rather than actually approaching a woman to gage her interest (which, for the record, should never be done in the gym), this dude attempts to win her affection by making every exercise a scene; grunting, throwing weights, and flexing into the mirror in order to convince his would-be slampiece what her eyes are unable to see: that he is both muscular and attractive.
5. THE COMPETITOR.
A hybrid blend of both #3 and #4, this dude thinks that the best way to assert his manliness and sexual desirability is by outperforming the 110-pound girl he’s creeping on in the weight room. Newsflash: even if it is twice the weight of what the dime piece is doing next to you, no one is impressed by your ability to bench 135 for six half-reps. Especially her.
Don’t miss the gym creep I bet you are without knowing it on the next page