Have you ever planned on doing a hard workout but ended up finding some excuse to skip it while feeling limited guilt? The answer for most of us is of course. We are really good at talking ourselves out of doing something difficult or unpleasant. It’s human nature to take the easiest path.
For some the excuses start infrequently but slowly begin to pile up until the man in the mirror looks more like Justin Bieber after his future Bruce Jenner style transformation than someone who actually lifts. One of the problems is that we are able to talk ourselves out of going to the gym by believing that our excuses are legitimate.
Well I say no more bullshit excuses.
Here’s a list of the most common gym skipping excuses you need to stop making.
1. Too tired to train.
Do you find yourself too exhausted from work to even muster up the energy to beat off in the McDonald’s drive thru? If you said yes then you might have an excuse to skip the gym.
That excuse being the fact nobody wants you touching the gym equipment.
Here’s a better version: are you so tired from work that all you want to do is chill and play Xbox? Well tough shit Nancy boy, go train. If you are serious about getting in good or better shape, you probably will always be tired.
The effort you will have to put into becoming great should exhaust you mentally and physically. Being too tired to train is the lamest excuse you can come up with.
If you work 12-18 hours a day, two or more jobs, or balance work and school, it’s understandable to be too tired to train without some kind of pharmaceutical help. If you find yourself in this kind of situation you need to reevaluate your goals and what you want out of life.
We all have to make sacrifices if we want to be great. You just need to figure out what’s best for you. I will say this though, never sacrifice your health or family for any job. You aren’t on this planet just to pay bills and die.
Now for the rest of us who work normal hours or less, no excuses. You find time and you go train. If you are too tired after work, go before. If you can’t go before or after for some reason, go at lunch.
That doesn’t work either?
Train at home for fucks sake. You always have options. If you want something bad enough you will find a way to get it.
2. Can’t afford a gym membership.
This is one of those excuses that makes me want to travel back in time like some kind of vagina blasting Terminator and punch people in the face as they are being born.
I understand there are some people who might be tight money wise, but I’ve been in the same situation and never sacrificed the gym. Hell, there was a period where I was eating Ramen noodles and tuna every night but still had a gym membership.
Let’s say for the sake of argument that you really are so poor that you can’t afford a gym membership, even when you aren’t blowing your money on Mountain Dew for your late night Call of Duty sessions, there are still ways to workout.
You may not be able to afford weights but you can still do bodyweight exercises. Become ridiculously good at handling your bodyweight like those Bar Starz guys. You can at the very least build a solid foundation until you are able to afford a way to lift actual weights.
You don’t need a gym to workout.
You need willpower to workout.
If you want to do it you will, gym or no gym. Stop acting like a little beta bitch and train.
3. Don’t have the time.
I’ve made most of the points for this on the first entry. For the average person there is always time; it just takes sacrifice and proper planning.
I know plenty of people who are far busier than most and they still manage to get their training in. Never say you don’t have time when you spend an hour on Facebook, 45 minutes watching porn, two hours watching TV; you have the time, you just choose to use it doing pointless shit.
Get off your lazy ass and do something positive.
4. Don’t know what to do in the gym.
This excuse makes me want to go back in time and punch your dad in the scrotum right before he ejaculates in your whore mother at the time of your conception. This is the fucking information age for tap dancing Tony Danza sake.
There is no way you cannot research how to properly train.
If you are reading this article then you have the means to acquire the knowledge from advanced bodybuilders world wide. Using the excuse you don’t know what to do in the gym as a reason to not workout is like slappin’ your jimmy in the wrong hole during sex because you don’t know how sex works.
Stop being such a lazy illiterate dildo farmer and do some research.
5. Don’t want to miss out on life.
If you want to party all of the time, cool. If you want to become a beast, cool. If you want to complain about how you wish you were a beast but you don’t want to miss out on partying, your lame as fuck.
Seriously what a stupid “problem” to have.
I hear guys all of the time bitch about wanting to get back into working out but don’t want to miss out on having fun during the weekends.
First off, who says you can’t be a bodybuilder and still have fun from time to time? Secondly, who needs a whole week to recover from going out on the weekends? How much coke do you have to snort out of a hookers butt crack to take you out of training for a whole week? Are you Lamar Odom or some shit? If you are lazy just admit that you are lazy.
Don’t pretend workingout will take up all of your free time and make you miserable. If it does do that, you are doing it wrong.
I know plenty of coke head Zyzz type guys who seem to always be intoxicated yet they still hit up the gym. Fuck, I’ve seen guys who were hilariously drunk trying to squat heavy weight.
Now that’s multitasking!
You don’t need to be on a Kai Greene level of dedication, you just need to hit up the gym from time to time so you aren’t so disgustingly nonfunctional.
This is one of those excuses where it sounds like it should be a legitimate reason to skip the gym. Except for the fact that it usually isn’t of course. You obviously don’t want to make an injury worse but there are usually ways to work around it.
You can work non-injured parts of your body. You can do lightweight workouts. You can even work on smaller, lagging bodyparts. Just evaluate what you can and cannot do and work around the injury accordingly if you are able to.
A sprained taint probably shouldn’t keep you from working biceps. Don’t be a salty cunt who cries in their bowl of ice cream because they believe their strained calf muscle means they must stay in bed for a month.
Here’s another one that can be a legitimate excuse but often times is just bullshit. Without getting into it too much I’d like to just give you a quick rule of thumb: if the illness affects you only above the neck, you should be fine to train.
If you can’t breathe, are throwing up, or can’t stop crapping tapioca, stay home. If your head is a little foggy, you have a sore throat, or just a runny nose, quit being a leaky butthole and train. Don’t be that guy who gets a little cold and needs his girlfriend to be his mom for a solid week while he binge watches Netflix.
What stupid excuses to not train have you guys heard? What legitimate excuses have you heard? Let me know in the comments.
(Keep in mind there is a man God out there right now training arms for the 8th straight century. NO EXCUSES!)