Weird Odd Object Training Principles for the Broke Yoke
So, you’re fresh off the pharm with a fat stack of motivation that you’ve mustered from the comments section of every BroScience post: eat clen, tren hard, anavar give up! What now? Gotta move heavy stuff, but how, now that you’ve spent your rent, food money, and car payment on enough juice to fuel an 8 hour arm workout that will make Kai Greene want to dress up as you for Halloween?
Easy. Find heavy things and move ’em.
Odd object training is nothing new. Your ancestors did it long before Bill Kazmaier decided to pick up an atlas stone, but your ancestors did it to survive, and didn’t have access to the same “motivation” that will make you a supreme being. Here’s how to build up that broke yoke so that you can look like you lift, even when fully clothed.
Tire Flip: Tires are free at most tire shops that service tractors and large equipment. Borrow a truck, trailer, or walk to the shop to pick up your tire. Just roll or flip it all the way home to get a jumpstart on your workout.
Battle Ropes: Unless you’re Christian Grey, or work on a barge, you’re probably going to have to do a little looking around to get the right rope. You can find plenty of options on Craigslist or ebay. Many sizes and lengths are good to have on hand. Thicker rope will allow you to work on grip strength. Tie them to a loaded tire for sled training, to other heavy objects to work various body parts, or to a tree for battle rope exercises. Use your imagination.
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Big Stones: You can pick up a mold to make your own atlas stone, or just go outside and find some. It doesn’t have to be perfectly round to make a good lift. If you’re planning to compete in a strongman event, it’s worth buying a mold, but if you just want monstrous traps, any heavy stone will do.
Keg: In a dream world, you could buy a full keg and empty it yourself, but we all know that buying beer isn’t a priority. Buying something that you can make heavy is. Pick up a keg for $20-30 off Craigslist, fill it up, and lift it or throw it over your head.
Sandbag: Grab that old duffle bag that you used to keep your gym gear in and fill it with sand, dirt, or rocks. You’re not going to the gym any more because it’s unnecessary. It’s unnecessary because you can’t afford it. You can’t afford it because your “supplements” are going to get you HUGE!